If I could single out the greatest battle of my life, it would easily be fear. Fear can manifest in many ways, in the usual ways of terror, worry, anxiety, and intimidation. It can at times also masquerade as wisdom, where we chose not to walk a certain path or through a circumstance, avoiding it as much as possible, but at the heart of the issue is fear. We may attempt to rationalise it or shroud it in Christian-speak. However, the proof is in the fruit – true wisdom equips us to move forward, not prevent it. Fear keeps us from walking in fullness.
I have hidden behind my introverted personality, and made excuses for my lack of courage. But lately I’ve found a renewed sense of wanting to press through my greatest fears. Fear of not being received or embraced as a person; fear of spiritually dark atmospheres; fear of rejection; fear of mistakes; fear of being misunderstood. I have plenty of history in all those areas, where I’ve felt defeated and my worse fears and insecurities seemed to have come about. But I have an incredible Father who loves me and has set me free! There are opportunities for growth and freedom tucked into every area of my life, especially those places where I’ve struggled the most. It’s the inner territory of my heart where the true battle lies, not in the circumstances in themselves.
The Lord has been continually, daily, affirming my calling as a warrior and atmosphere changer; as a ‘rebuilder of walls and restorer of homes’ (Is. 58); and as a watchman, seer, and prophetic woman, and worshipper. There isn’t a day that goes by that He doesn’t encourage my heart with the truth of who I am in Christ. As my lens has changed in how I see myself and who I know the Father to be to me, the truth has found a resting place in my thinking, and I’m finding courage and hope rise up like never before.
Fear is evaporated in the light of God’s majesty and supremacy. I know I can come to His throne of grace boldly (Hebrews 4:16). My steps towards Him are an expression of confidence in who I know Him to be. Every mistake is turned into an opportunity for victory. His kindness and goodness led me to repentance, and His kindness and goodness continues to overwhelm and empower my heart into growing up in Him. I expect Him to be this to me every waking (and sleeping) moment. It’s simply my job to receive, and to remain in that place with Him.
1 John 4:18 tells us that perfect love drives out fear. It’s in that place of intimacy with the Father that we cultivate a love-relationship with Him where we feel safe to make mistakes, as we know we are accepted as His beloved.
In a place where I’ve been learning how to live in freedom, understand my gifting/calling mix, and also find my place in the Body of Christ, my enthusiasm and wholehearted personality has at times overtaken discernment and wisdom. I’ve been learning to swim in an ocean of water where I don’t know where to even start. I have a tendency to see things as they will be in future, part of my prophetic nature, and so live in present relationships as though these relationships with others have already matured to that point – but of course trust has to be built in relationships first before I get too ahead of myself! I need to slow down and enjoy the journey there!
Jesus has been gracious and kind however, so even in my flaws He’s been something amazing to me that He wouldn’t have been able to be otherwise. He truly is astonishing, and He’s also my biggest fan. As I am taken away by His adoration of me, and His wholehearted commitment to my becoming like Him, I find rest and confidence in being myself, quirks and all, and working through my mistakes with Him under His glorious gracious hand. Fearlessness for me looks like this – where my Father’s love enables me to step out knowing that He’s already there, enthusiastically motioning for me to follow Him, and taking my hand when I need to. It also means chasing down my fears with intentionality and courage, knowing that in doing so I will break through into my truest identity, and hold that ground where I can bring others to. That, my friends, is living the overcoming life!
I want to create an environment of faith around my life, where others feel like the impossible is possible, mountains can be leveled, and circumstances can be viewed through the eyes of our position in Christ (seated on His throne with Him). If I am bold and courageous, I can cause this to be stirred in others. What are the possibilities for us all, if only we would walk with faith and fearlessness, assured of who we are in Christ, and living an overcoming, victorious life whereby anything is possible? Something to think about.
Thanks for reading! I appreciate it.